Why do so many women fight against submitting to God for sake of our children? I really believe it is related to fear. We hear the stories of God’s faithfulness after some tragedy. But, we do not wish to live through the tragedy to get to the “God be the glory” testimony. It is as if we do not love and trust in the God who we teach our children to love and trust. Sometimes it has been difficult to discern if my motherly convictions were founded in fear instead of faith. I had a huge lesson to learn about His love ruling in my life.
It started with my friend asking me if my 4th grade son could attend camp with her son in the summer. I immediately told her no; I was not sending Robby to camp. Although I ended the conversation quickly, I could not dismiss the idea.
When my husband came home, I said, “Kim asked if Robby could go to camp with Nate. NO! Right?” Slowly and calmly, my husband replied, “Robby does not need to go to camp for Robby. But it would be good for Robby to go to camp for you.” I immediately thought, “Oh no, I have to pray about this now.” Waiting for an opportune quiet moment to shut the bedroom door and allow myself time to mediate, I climbed on the bed and prayed, “Lord, it does not seem necessary to send Robby to camp but I also do not want to make decisions based out of fear. Please help me.” I waited and listened. Opening the Bible, my eyes fixed on Ezra , “For Ezra had set his heart to study the law of the LORD and to practice it, and to teach His statutes and ordinances in Israel.” I prayed this passage frequently, asking the Lord to fulfill these words with me. “Lord, why does Ezra seem like it is in bold print right now? What’s up with my life verse in Ezra?”
The name Ezra means help. I too want to help others know the Lord better. In the stillness of my heart, I knew that I desired to be an Ezra in other people’s lives, but I did not want anyone to be an Ezra in my son’s life. To have all the spiritual responsibility placed upon myself for my children is a burden I suddenly realized I did not want to carry alone. The Lord wanted a change of heart for me to allow others to participate in my children’s spiritual wellbeing. “Oh no, Robby’s going to camp.” It was a huge step of obedience and I admit that fear still stirred within me. However, it seemed that the word of God spoke louder than my own mind. Robby packed his bags and we headed to Indian Hills Youth Camp in Jamul.
My first mission was to find Robby’s counselor because I had a few things I needed to say. I was directed to the young man standing under the tent, alone. Perfect! I needed to explain to him that Robby had never been to camp. After several minutes of rambling, I realized that we had not been introduced. I paused, looked him in the eyes and said, “I am sorry. My name is Tonilee Adamson. What is your name?” Without hesitating, he said “My name is Ezra.” The heavens parted and the angels were smiling as I turned to my husband and said, “We need to leave NOW.” No more instructions, no more worries, no more words. We kissed Robby and headed home.
I had just one thought all week: “Did his mother name him Ezra?” When I picked up Robby, I asked him to take me to his counselor to ask him, “Is Ezra your real name?” This 20-something young man said to me, “No, it is my camp name. My life verse is Ezra . I asked the Lord to allow me to be an Ezra in the kids’ lives as I minister this summer.” I stared at him as tears began to well up and said, “Me TOO!” We exchanged a few more words and I left thanking and praising God for His amazing ability to hear, act and use His words to expand my mind and soften my heart to receive so much amazing blessing.
There are many non-Christian women who are great mothers. Women do not need the filling of the Holy Spirit to follow the desires to love, teach and train their children. However, to teach and train a child in the ways that they should go for their children’s best interest long term does require a submitted life to the Lord. We do not stand before God someday for the choices our children have made. Instead we stand before God alone for the choices we have made. When a woman seeks the counsel of the Lord and obeys, others are blessed. The problem comes when we interpret our own thoughts to be the Lord’s will. By asking, seeking and knocking through the daily circumstances and choices of life, we will find freedom in following the Lord’s ways. Seasons of life change but the Lord is faithful. I have come to realize that when I desire to hear the Lord’s voice louder than I want Him to hear mine then I have peace to change and do things His way over my own. God has brought the best “helper” to each of us. We do find freedom when seeking His help above all others.
~Daily Disciples Devotional~